What Would Harry Read?

Ron #6 - NASTYbook

Imagine that you’re stuck at school all day studying intense subjects such as Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts and Divination—wouldn’t it be fun to read something 100% non-educational in your free time? How about if the book was printed upside-down so that everyone who saw you reading it thought you were either stupid or just pretending to read (unconvincingly)? What if the stories were all short, say a page or two, and were about the freakiest things—like a werewolf who loves his garden, a boy obsessed with cutting other people’s toenails, poisoned spaghetti or an elephant who gets admitted to elementary school.

Or maybe it’s summer vacation and you’re at home in your very crowded house with way too many brothers and sisters…need a perfect book to take to the bathroom with you while you hide? Short, hilarious, twisted and totally engrossing, Barry Yourgrou’s Nastybook is that book! Made up of 43 short tales this book is not for the faint of heart or those that are easily offended. Do you think panda bears are cute and cuddly? You won’t after reading this book!

But would Ron like it? Or would it make him horribly uncomfortable? The stories in Nastybook are funny, scary and disturbing all at once. Ron, having seen more than his share of the strange and unusual in his life, would probably crawl into his bed with a flashlight and relish the creepiness of it all. Best of all, when he's done, there are two more Nasty collections available!

Hermione #6 - Startled by His Furry Shorts

This week's review from guest reviewer Emma Sakamoto!

Hermione’s school year is spent reading dry history text books and complicated magical theory. Not exactly what you’d call light reading (no matter what Hermione says). In between reading about magical politics and evil wizards, Startled by His Furry Shorts would be something she’d pick up for a fun summer read.

In the seventh Georgia Nicolson book, Georgia is struggling to deal with her confusing feelings for Dave the Laugh and Masimo the Italian Stallion. On the one hand, Dave openly admits to liking her. On the other hand, Masimo needs a week to make up his mind about her. Georgia is on the rack of romance. Again.

On top of her love troubles, Georgia has to deal with her crazy friends’ relationships. (Vikings are involved.) Her best friend is so caught up with her own boyfriend that she doesn’t have time to listen to Georgia complaining. There is also a chaotic school production of Macbeth (AKA MacUseless, AKA MacPants) in which Georgia is MacDuff.

Georgia’s usual ridiculousness keeps Startled by His Furry Shorts light and funny. She is melodramatic, outrageous and completely relatable. This probably isn’t a book that Hermione would admit to reading. It’s not educational enough (although there is a wealth of British slang and made up words to enrich your vocabulary) and it has nothing to do with the wizarding world. However, that would be why Hermione would like it. Georgia and her world are completely different from Hermione’s day to day life. To her, this would be the ultimate escape read.

Harry #5 - Lord Loss

For those nights when Harry’s real-life adventures don’t already scare the pants off of him, I’m sure he’d be first in line to pick up Darren Shan’s Lord Loss. With Book One in his increasingly popular Demonata series, Shan’s created a world that goes beyond kind of spooky to seriously scary. Grubbs Grady is like any normal kid: he plays practical jokes, laughs a lot, hates it when his parents force him to play chess, and gets into all kinds of trouble. But nothing in his normal adolescence prepares him for Lord Loss, a demon who comes from another world to terrorize Grubbs and his family—for very good reason.

You see, Grubbs Grady and his family are different, and that’s something Harry himself could understand with being an extra-special wizard and everything. While it’s one thing to know you are different from the very start of your life, like Harry with his damnable scar, it’s clearly another to sneak home one night when you’re supposed to be staying with your stodgy aunt and find Lord Loss and his two pals, Artery and Vein, doing serious damage to your family in your house. In the wizard world, Harry battles with he-who-shall-not-be-named, in Shan’s world, Grubbs deals with Lord Loss, and all the implications that go along with fighting a demon.

First off, no one believes you—no one except your own demon-fighting awesome uncle Dervish who teaches you a thing or two about Lord Loss and his cohorts. Next, you’ve got a whole other-world to contend with, and it’s way harder to be a teenager when demons are involved. Trust me. Lastly, you’ve got to grow up in ways you never would have imagined in your life pre-Lord Loss, and luckily for Grubbs, he’s strong-willed, smart and serious when he needs to be.

Well written in Shan’s signature stream of consciousness style, Lord Loss gets your heart racing, your pulse jumping, and keeps you checking your closets before bed. Oh, and if this book doesn’t startle you into a keen interest in chess, I don’t know what will! Why would Harry read this book? Well, he’s got his own demons to battle, sure, but I think he’d find some solace in the story of Grubbs Grady and his family. And no one can resist a good fight, especially when it involves fire, brimstone and all kinds of other ooky-spooky things…

Harry #4 - Airborn

Of course Harry would read Kenneth Oppel's Airborn. In Matt Cruse you've got a hero Harry would have been pals with: one who is eager to achieve his own lofty dreams, who is tortured by the death of a loved one whose steps he follows in, and who has a mischievous and sometimes reluctant disregard for the rules. If there's one slight difference between Matt and Harry, it's the fact that his adventures are less magical and far more swashbuckling. In Airborn, Oppel has written a book that could easily be read right alongside Jules Verne or Treasure Island with its completely believable (but imaginary) past where giant airships rule the sky and pirates roam the airways.

Written in the first person, Airborn feels like the real diary of Matt, a cabin boy destined for great things, but who still struggles in his own skin, much like every adolescent. Harry would probably feel as if he was reading his own journal in many cases, including the jealousy Matt feels for a teenage rival, the thrill of Matt's first kiss, and the breathless climax that rivals anything the young wizard himself survived. Oppel's imagination is staggering and there's no wonder why he's so popular both among young readers and award committees. Airborn is just a terrific read—for young readers and adults—and Oppel's uncanny ability to mix fantasy with reality makes the action believable, the characters easy to relate to, and the story even that much more exciting.

Matt is the Harry of the skies: daring, loyal, brave and selfless. I expect Airborn would be endlessly passed around the Gryffindor common room.

Ron #5 - The Lambkins

Take one musical prodigy, add a baseball player who dreams of being an author, a promising painter, an adorable Shirley Temple-type little girl, and a dog, then mix in a demented woman who unfortunately possesses both a genetic concoction for shrinking people and a replica doll house of her own home, and you've got the strange, twisted book The Lambkins. One things for sure: The Lambkins really drives home the message “Don’t Talk to Strangers.” After reading this book kids will know why: Because they might throw you in their car trunk, take you home, shrink you and make you their living doll, that’s why!

This is exactly what happens to 14-year old Kyle on his way home from art class one evening.  When he reluctantly agrees to help a unknown woman with her flat tire, the last thing he expects is to be kidnapped. But the next thing he knows he is in a strange house with Mcnamara, Tanya, Lulu and Pippy being taken care of by what he assumes is a giant. The other captive kids, who’ve been there much longer than him, inform him that no, crazy Mrs Shepherd isn’t big, they’re little! To make matters worse Mrs Shepherd has a terrible temper and has already killed one of her lambkins, a singer named John. Kyle begins planning their escape—can they flush themselves down the tiny toilet? Stab her with doll-sized knives and forks? Things look pretty bleak until they discover a leaky pipe in the basement near their doll house...

What would Ron think about this book? He’d think it was a blast! Having personal experience with transformation, invisibility and giants, he’d get a kick out of their wacky predicament. And knowing Ron he’d have all sorts of ideas about how he would not only escape the doll house and defeat the nasty lady but also get the girl!

Step into the doll house yourself and read a chapter excerpt here.

Hermione #5 - Warriors: The New Prophecy #1: Midnight

This week's entry for Hermione was written by the delightful and talented book blogger, Kaliana, of The Written World and Twisted Kingdom.

Cat lovers everywhere rejoice in the wonder that is the Warriors series by Erin Hunter.  Midnight is part of The New Prophecy series that follows on the success of the original Warrior series.  In the beginning, there are a lot of cats, as Hunter goes very far to assure that all the members of the cat clan are mentioned, but as the story progresses the main characters take the forefront.  This is a story of Brambleclaw and his clan, the Thunderclan.   

One night in a dream a deceased wildcat comes to him to say that the wildcats are in danger, and that it is up to him and three other cats to save all the clan cats.  Brambleclaw writes it off as just a dream, though, until he learns that three other cats from the other three clans, ShadowClan, WindClan and RiverClan, had the same dream.  Clans live in relative peace with one another, but to be called on to work together so closely is a rare thing, especially when the four chosen ones are just regular members of the Clans and not the leaders that they believe should be receiving the prophecies.

In this book, readers get the chance to join Brambleclaw and the clan chief's daughter, Squirrelpaw, from ThunderClan.  Squirrelpaw was not one of the chosen ones, but you try and tell her that.  Joined by Tawnypelt, Brambleclaw's sister from another clan, Crowpaw, and Feathertail, as well as Stormfur, Feathertail's brother, who refuses to be left behind.  These six cats set on an adventure to reach a place that they are not even sure exists and they believe that when they get there, midnight will reveal the truth behind the prophecies.

If the adventure aspect of this young adult book are not enough for you, you also get to look forward to seeing the world through the eyes of a cat.  I believe that Hunter does a very good job thinking like a cat does, and the words that the cats use to describe the human world are comical and fitting. It's one of those books that will have you waiting impatiently to read book two in order to find out what happens to these cats next.

Why would Hermione read this book?  That's simple: Squirrelpaw.  Squirrelpaw may be a cat, but as I was reading the book I found that she strongly reminded me of the Hermione we all know and love.  They are both very strong female characters, and both good at finding trouble.  Hermione might have the persona that breaking the rules is a bad thing, while Squirrelpaw seems to welcome it, but they still act very similar to each other.  Squirrelpaw is also bold and sassy and she does not take any trouble from the male members of the group; she is her own boss.  Quite like Hermione, I think.

Ron #4 - Skulduggery Pleasant

So how would you feel if your favourite uncle suddenly dies and then leaves you, well, everything? I mean, it’s sad that he’s died, and obviously tragic, but kind of cool to be twelve years old and own an entire house! Well, that’s the position that Stephanie finds herself in when her uncle Gordon dies and leaves her his giant mansion. While alive, her uncle was a writer, and found himself involved with all sorts of interesting characters, including a very mysterious stranger who shows up both at his funeral and the reading of his will.

Spectacularly dressed in a top-notch suit with an awesome hat atop his (for lack of a better word) head, Skulduggery Pleasant introduces himself to Stephanie as a detective. But Skulduggery's not just any kind of detective. Oh no, he's part of a whole magical world that Stephanie finds herself smack in the middle of when it’s discovered there may have been other forces at work in terms of her uncle’s untimely death.

And as Stephanie discovers, Skulduggery is even more than a detective: he’s a skeleton! That’s right, he’s a walking, talking, fire-throwing magical skeleton who, through the course of the book, allows Stephanie to become his partner.  And what a ride it is.  As they battle vampires (scary!) and Hollow Men (even scarier) to fight off an evil that might even make Ron quake in his boots, Stephanie comes to understand a lot more about not only herself, but her family as well.

Why would Ron like Derek Landy’s Skulduggery Pleasant?  For many reasons, I think.  For one, he might have a kick-ass crush on Stephanie: she’s talented, smart and funny. Also, he might enjoy thinking about inheriting a house where he’d be all by himself, no Ginny, no pesky brothers, and no parents sending embarrassing packages via owl. But best of all, with Ron already being familiar with the world of magic, the idea of a skeletal detective might not be all that shocking in his world.  I’m sure he’d pal around with the likes of Skulduggery Pleasant himself.

And why don't you see for yourself what you think of Skulduggery Pleasant. Read a chapter here.

Hermione #4 - Dramacon

A weekend at the Lakeside comic book convention is in many ways like a trip on the fictional Love Boat of the 1970s. You arrive with great expectations, meet an interesting cast of characters, have some wacky mishaps, perhaps fall in love, grow a little as a person and a couple days later with some tacky souvenirs you return to your regular life.

In Dramacon, by Canadian author Svetlana Chmakova, Christie, a comic book writer, is nervous about her first comic-con. She arrives with her hot-headed boyfriend, Derek, to promote their comic, Wary City. Christie’s personality is very different than that of her boyfriend and their convention roommates; she's more timid and less confrontational. Her instinct is to flee not to fight.

So it isn’t a big surprise when finally fed up by her lecherous boyfriend’s overtures towards other women, Christie takes off into the chaos of the con. In the crowd she crashes into the tall, dark and  mysterious Matt, who never removes his sunglasses. Without thinking Christie throws herself into his arms and cries over all her problems with her boyfriend. Matt gives advice–challenging Christie to stand up for herself. 

When Christie is with Matt she behaves like a different person—she’s witty, sarcastic and confident. She acts as though she is comfortable being herself and isn’t trying to be please others. Matt isn’t portrayed as perfect: he’s too pushy sometimes and asks very direct questions. But it is clear to the reader that his intentions are good and that he sees something in Christie that she has buried and hidden from others. Unfortunately for Matt when he does push Christie too far with his comments she rips his sunglasses off him in anger (assuming he’s just a pretentious fashion dude) and finds out why he wears them. Oops.

The convention starts looking up for Christie on day two when she gets an opportunity to meet one of her manga idols and makes friends with other convention attendees. But that evening, at a crowded dance, Christie and Matt get a little too close for Derek’s liking and he ends up very angry. After consuming some of their older friends’ alcohol, Derek’s actions get out of control and Christie flees to her new friends. On the bright side (this is a comedy!) Christie finally stands up to Derek and shows she has a backbone after all!

Will Christie and Matt get together? Does Christie have a future as a writer? Will she find a new artist to replace Derek? You'll have to stay tuned for Dramacon #2 to find out!

Why would Hermione like Dramacon? As someone who roots for the underdog, who fights injustice at every opportunity, who wants girls to be treated as equals to boys yet has a romantic side, this is the perfect book for Hermione. She’d delight in Christie’s transformation and would be as in love with Matt as the rest of us.

Want to see Dramacon for yourself? Check out a preview here.

 

Harry #3 - Sabriel

Late one night at Wyverly College (for young ladies of quality), eighteen-year-old Sabriel receives an ominous delivery—her father’s tools of the necromancy trade. That can only mean that her father is either dead or being held hostage somewhere in the realms of death. Luckily Sabriel has spent years studying magic and necromancy so she bravely takes his bells and sword, and then plunges into the terrifying Old Kingdom to find her father.

“Death? Necromancy?” you say? Now don’t be scared yet, it only gets worse!

In Sabriel, the first of Garth Nix’s Abhorsen trilogy, an Abhorsen is a powerful mage who uses dangerous free magic and the more benevolent charter magic to bind the dead—that is, he makes sure the dead stay dead. In the Old Kingdom, where Sabriel was born, free magic abounds and the dead often roam free, sometimes as zombie-type creatures called “Shadow Hands.” To bind the dead, an Abhorsen must enter Death, a creepy underworld realm with many levels, where one misstep could spell disaster with a capital D!

Upon receiving her father’s sword and his bandolier of bells, Sabriel makes the dangerous trek to the Abhorsen’s cottage deep in the Old Kingdom. Once there she encounters the white cat Moggett, a potentially dangerous being kept in-line only by the magic collar he wears. Sabriel is cautioned to never remove this collar! Hmmm…do you think she listens to this warning?

On their journey to find the Abhorsen, Moggett and Sabriel meet up with Touchstone, who has been imprisoned in the wooden figurehead of a ship for more than two centuries. After he is freed he continues with them on their journey. Touchstone has some secrets and hidden shame that make him very mysterious and somewhat irresistible.  The mysteries of his past are tied to the Greater Dead Kerrigor and the disappearance of the Abhorsen.

Harry would definitely read Sabriel. He would identify strongly with the character of Sabriel as both are faced with an undeniable destiny. They must confront their fears to fight evil and protect the ones they love. The scenes in the underworld of death are reminiscent of Harry’s tri-wizard tournament adventures, something he might not want to remember, but again something he could relate to!

If you think you're brave enough to enter the Old Kingdom, check out the chapter excerpt here.

Dumbledore #3 - 211 Things a Bright Boy Can Do

Dumbledore seems possessed of a pretty classical kind of education, and while clearly versed in how to vanquish the dark arts, he may not have ever learned how to deal with the mischievous arts as  practiced by the likes of the Weasley brothers. Although Dumbledore is wise, some of these boys are cunning and mischievous in ways not to be imagined, so a book like 211 Things a Bright Boy Can Do would be the ideal thing to distract them from trouble-making experimentation with their new powers.

In fact, this book is not only a distraction, it is essential. If a boy gets to adulthood without learning the skills covered in this book, well, I just don't want to think about it. What would happen if one turned twelve without knowing Bracing Outdoor Activities, How to Use Your Watch As a Compass and How to Know When a Girl Fancies You. And when one is a bit older one must know How to Order Wine In a Restaurant, How to Mow the Perfect Lawn, and How to Impress a Girl on a Budget. Although presumably the boy would be on the budget, not the girl.

One of the most important things this book can teach those rapscallion boys is How to Appear More Intelligent Than You Are, something we all should know. This can be achieved merely by speaking quickly, using a large vocabulary, interrupting people and not using slang. It also helps to be tall and to wear eyeglasses.

But mostly I think the Weasleys would like to know How to Drive a Nail Into a Plank With Your Bare Hand. I know I would.